Originally uploaded by k_bosak
Hi everyone. Beth here. Things in Edinburgh are good. Julian is so wonderful and Jonathan & I are attempting to sort out some sort of a routine! As you can see from our photos we've done several Rotary things and I have three speaking engagements coming up really soon. My work is going well also. I wanted to blog this photo because I miss my dogs. They are doing really great at home with Bonnie & Kevin and the boys. Jonathan remarked that they're probably faring better there than with us! Samson has his deck and Chelsea has Quinn to leave her vittles galore. But every time I see a big black & white dog, or a little terrier, I'm a little overcome and reach for my sunglasses.

Can I be honest? I'll pretend that I can behind the veil of cyberspace... October was hard, really hard. Although my work/research is going really well, and Jonathan, Julian & I are settling into a routine that works for us, homesickness set in and cast a shadow that I had not anticipated.

I was told that approximately six weeks after arrival I could expect to go through a "what the heck are we doing here?!" phase. And just like clockwork, it happened. The first time I felt it was when the date was set for Quinn's surgery. I truly 'felt' the distance for the first time. I understand that there are folks out there who live far away from family and it's not a big deal. And to be honest I do think some distance is good. But I've always known that I could hop in the car and be "there" within a matter of hours. Now that's different. Shelby tells me that she would be in Scotland if I would just come pick her up, and Connor wishes he could go through the computer to me... and I wish that both of them could have their wishes.

The reality is settling in of what it means to raise a child in the complete absence of a social network. Of course social networks can be created, and we are working on that. But just like everything else, the learning curve is steep and it will take time. But in the meantime I am lonely for those who are not here. However, I must say that every day I am thankful. Many students studying here came without their spouse and children, whether because of financial constraints or visa issues. One student whose wife and children are not with him remarked that I don't have anyone to miss, since Jonathan and Julian are here. Of course I appreciate what he meant, but that's so far from true for me. I underestimated the extent to which I enjoy being intimately involved in the day to day lives of the people I love. And what I have asked myself in recent weeks is do I want to change? do I want to become a person who is okay with being away for big events and everyday suppers, for Christmas dinners and for trips to Target, for visits from the tooth fairy and for watching the toddler chase the dog... Of course the answer is no. No matter how far away I am, I will never be okay with being away.

Sorry to be so depressing, but it's my blog! ;) Mom will be here next week for a week... then Kevin and April will be here for two whole weeks! Lots of visitors which should be fun.

um... the forecast for today is neither sun nor rain. It's "wind." Hmm... not quite sure what to make of that apart from the fact that the wind was so strong last Tuesday that it literally blew out one of the windows in our apartment building stairwell!

Love to all. Beth

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